slack-titted gorgons

this is an onion article that ran in 2001. i read it when it was first in the onion and printed a copy of it. i lost it a couple of years ago. but i found it today by googling "slack-titted gorgon". it came up right after the beatles' lyrics. check it out, it's pretty funny.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33280

texas arts

even though i didn't write this, i feel that the arts play such an important part in my life that this needs to be here. plus, fleetwood is pretty much my other half, so it's almost like i wrote it. but worded better:

If the Arts play any kind of role in your life at all, please read the following and take 5 minutes to help keep the arts in Texas! Thank you.

The Texas Commission on the Arts is a state agency dedicated to fostering a receptive climate for the Arts in Texas. The agency funds non-profit art agencies all over Texas from rural Areas to major cities. It conducts grant workshops instructing agencies how to effectively procure funds from private resources. It provides technological and programmatical support for these agencies, it is essential to the very survival of the arts in many communities across Texas. The money that The Commission not only provides but more importantly generates in the state of Texas builds communities, creates jobs, enlivens tourism, stimulates thought, and makes Texas a more beautiful and interesting place to live. The funding is not limited one type of art, it extends to theatre, opera, music, symphonies, chorus, sculpture, photography, painting, crafts, and you name it. It funds arts venues, theatres, museums, street fairs, Shakespeare in the Park, student field trips to all of these places. It is a comprehensive and broad reach that effects every member of our community.


Ah yes, I haven't even touched on the Arts Education focus of the Commission which is a huge part of its programming. Arts Education, stimulates creativity in Children which translates into intelligence, problem solving, and creative expression. It enhances language skills, computer skills, speaking skills. Not to mention many programs that the commission funds are after school art programs that give underserved and under-privileged children a place to go, a reason for being and in a lot of cases keeps them off the streets and out of trouble during that critical period between the time school is out and the time parents come home from work.

The reason I am writing all of this is that the Texas Commission on the Arts is under review by the legislature – a division called the "Sunset Commission" to determine the worthiness of the agency. There is one man on the Commission who believes that it is not the responsibility of the State to fund the arts. He feels that the Texas Commission on the Arts serves as a distraction to more important business.
The citizens of the state of Texas have until April 7th to send testimonials, letters etc. to the Sunset Commission in support of the Texas Commission on the Arts.

Here is a link to the feedback form for the sunset commission. If the arts play any role in your life please take the time to fill it out and let them know how and why it is the responsibility of the state to fund this extremely important agency. Thank you.

http://www.sunset.state.tx.us/question.htm

P.S. This is a non-partisan issue. The arts do not divide, they unite.

Thanks for your help!
fleetwood

it's like the pilot episode of kung fu

i totally felt like kwai chang in the pilot episode of kung fu...when the chinese emperor sends a mercenary shaolin monk to track down caine because he's the only match for him...that's how i felt when i found out that my arch nemesis, stink-eye, is one of my people. it makes me sick.

pms is just an excuse

but i don't really know what else could possibly be throwing my emotions around so violently.
i mean, a little while ago i almost started crying because a memory about headgear that i had blocked out suddenly resurfaced again.

headgear might have been a reason to cry in 1987, but it is not a reason to cry anymore.

i need to get over myself.

my friend chris's fortune cookie

also, my friend chris got this fortune cookie that read:

"if you think you are too small to be powerful, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."

i never get fortunes like that.

wizard academy

i thought justis was joking at first when he said he had just dropped off people at the wizard academy. we tried to find it after the salt lick and just ended up in the transcendental meditation community instead. so i googled it today.
it's not what you would think, i don't think, but it totally exists.

mike, you might even be able to transfer your credits somehow...

www.wizardacademy.com

my definition of love

as i've said, i do not really love mike and the mechanics. but i'm really sure about what love means when i say "i really love steely dan." because i really love steely dan.

the key to my spirituality

apparently an extremely tall, extremely white man named clifford stringfellow holds a key to my spirituality, according to fleetwood and the celestine prophecy. this morning, upon notifying clifford of his status he said "well, lisa, looks like there's work to be done. there's work to be done."

another key to my spirituality is held by some kid named ryan that just moved to austin last thursday. he wears glasses.

what the hell?

i was sitting at the bus stop on my way to lunch today. minding my own business when i was approached by a shabbily dressed, one armed man smoking a cigarette. he looks at me and says "i hate to have a sense of humor, but i wish i was as beautiful as you are." then he starts laughing like a hyena as he turns and walks away, occasionally peering back at me, laughing and shaking his head.
he laughed all the way around the corner.

i wonder if this is the payback that i get for continuosly victimizing my poor friend by verbally assaulting him with professions of my love everytime i see him.

sorry, b.

also, this should maybe be read in conjunction with fleeter fay's blog about carnies, and let us know if you think there is any correlation.

it is a full moon.

heavy water

i woke up at 7am on saturday morning, stepped out of bed and put my foot into 1/2 an inch of water that was covering my entire floor.
my hangover totally reigned supreme as i spent the next 2 1/2 hours mopping up the mess and moving my belongings outside to dry.
it was a really traumatic way to start the day. dim sum didn't even really help it.
at least i wasn't electrocuted. i did, however, lose the pirate book to the hochwasser. schade.

it just kills me...

to think of my arch nemesis trying to turn my partner in crime against me. i know i need to let go of this. but it just fills me with hate.