i don't drink alone every night.

san diego is beautiful, and all of the new first officers coming in from express jet are hot. male and female alike.

on one of the flights from somewhere to nowhere this past week the captain called to tell us that the landing gear wasn't coming down.
holy shit.

it eventually did, but i swear to god. it is really hard to look calm in the face of 100 passengers when you think you might die.

i mean, we pulled it off, but still. i sure am glad i had the house stocked with liquor when i got home.

better than hbo

the downstairs neighbors are fighting. i can't actually hear her at all. just him yelling about how she's a whore and he'd given her another chance but she's still a whore and he wants her out of his house.

i actually just learned the background of my neighbors yesterday. apparently girlface has been cheating on her husband with this guy for years and she just won't stop. her husband has begged her to stop and she just won't. she had a 1950's movie style nervous breakdown last year. bloody handprint on the wall in the stairwell, etc. she spent some time in bellevue and came back.

well, anyway, dude's finally kicking her out. i guess he's tired of taking care of her while she cheats on him and he works and pays for everything and raises their kids.
i wonder when she'll be back.

it reminded me of this apartment i used to live in on 33rd street in austin. there was a building behind me and every saturday morning the couple would fight. and he would be standing on the balcony yelling down to her by her car "you're a fucking whore! i'm never letting you into my heart or home again!"
and she'd cry and say she's sorry and cry more and drive away eventually.

then the next saturday it would happen all over again.

i'm sure most all of us are guilty of the backslide, but there really comes a point when you just have to stop.

the sherry

i was excited about going to miami only because i heard that the hotel was on the beach and had a vending machine that sold $1 beer. so cheap beer and the beach, a swimsuit and a smile. but that's not really how it worked out.
we land and it is not sunny. it is windy. the torrential rainfall was sporadic. we get to the hotel and i'm confused as to whether or not we are in a classy place or a dump. the lobby is huge. a massive chandelier hanging from the ceiling. fancy couches everywhere, but there's totally a weird feeling about the place...comparable to the lounge of a youth hostel or a college dorm. behind the front desk are two older cuban women with hair bleached so blonde it was almost white...or maybe they were so old that their hair was truly white, and slightly yellowing. there are a shitload of airplane models behind the desk representing every airline you can think of.
i walk past the desk and there are more lounges. huge wooden pool tables. more chandeliers. shuffle board. a patio. a big pool with a fountain in the middle.
people hanging out and drinking all over the place. and then i realize that they are all flight attendants.
downstairs, on the lower level there is a fitness center. a beauty salon. a huge kitchen. the infamous vending machine.
the mezzanine level is a library with computers. there is a ballroom. a micro-cinema that doubles as the place for free breakfast. the sherry lounge is the bar that you go to when they lock up the vending machine with cheap beer.
the hotel caters only to flight crews. it is right on the beach.
it is like a cross between the bates and the shining. it is complete debauchery.
no children allowed.

it's the most amazing, bizarre place i've ever been to.

and i can't wait to go back.

miami, baby.

miami. who wants to go with me next time and party hard with the flight attendants and pilots? we're lots of fun.

it's not a russian novel.

i was watching "heathers" today, and i swear to god, christian slater and winona ryder making out is still as hot as it has always been.

right now seems to be a time of extreme change for so many people in my life. and with a large portion of them, including me, the changes have been so ... unforseeable, that it makes me stop and think about how amazing time is. and what it does to you...or what you do in it.
the conversations i've had with people in the past few days...
"did you ever think when you were shooting dope a few years ago that now you'd be the head chef of a restaurant?"
"did you even think a few months ago that you'd be in nyc?"
"did you ever think when you were a mess of a person that now you'd be a school teacher?"
"did you ever think that our girl of a hot mess would be in grad school with everything paid for?"
"did you ever think that when you were working at the peep show that now you'd be a yoga teacher?"
"did you think you would ever leave your comfort zone?"
"did you ever think you'd go there again?"
"no, and it's fucking scary as hell..."

it's just totally crazy to me how quickly time passes, and the changes that happen...i'm just totally stunned on a daily basis.