back sweat.

it is really fucking hot in brooklyn. the fire hydrants are open on every corner. i am sitting at the table sweating balls. the fish bowl is on the window sill next to me and the water is turning green. i wonder what the likelihood on contracting hep-a is. looks like a stagnate pool to me. i think i'm killing the fish. the fish that i gave michael for his birthday instead of the strap-on that he was apparently expecting. not that he needs one...nevermind, long story.

so the fish, henrietta, is a boy. annick so kindly informed me last night on our way to celebratory drinking. it's a boy. the colorful ones are boys. they're like birds. i don't know if i should tell michael. i think he really wants the fish to be a girl.
anyway, so i'm killing the fish. it had been swimming--well, actually, barely moving--towards the bottom of the bowl for so long. i asked michael if he thought she was dead and he said "no, if she were dead she'd be floating at the top". well i changed out half of the water yesterday and today it is even greener, and she is swimming (barely moving) closer and closer to the top.

oh, it just started raining. the fish seems to be intrigued by the rain.

so all i need is to have michael come home tomorrow and find a henrietta dead at the hands of his emotionally-unstable-more-than-he-bargained-for-trainwreck-of-a-girlfriend.
he'll think it's about the knee pillow. i won't be able to explain. then he'll leave me claiming it's my un-nurturing nature that drove him away.

yeah, so i don't know if i should tell him that she's a boy.

it is so fucking hot out.