it's really strange being in the northeast after years of being away. i remember the first winter i was in texas and having a bbq on my birthday. outside on the patio in shorts and a tank top thinking "i can't believe this is really possible after 20 years of sledding parties on this day." riding around in an el camino, drinking beer because the open container law still hadn't gone into effect and fixing my hangover from the night before. in my desperate attempt to leave the northeast and cold i had found a paradise. of lazy and slow. and warm and sunny. and i was never going to leave.
so now, 10 years later, after swearing-to-fucking-god that i would never ever ever ever ever ever come back, it's crazy being here. i bought a winter coat last week. down and puffy. hooded. gloves. fur lined winter weatherproof boots. sweaters. things that i had long gotten rid of in my life. tank tops are now just undershirts.
i think about how i'm here and how i got here and how my life just seems to have gone full circle after all these years.
i just went to a staged reading of a play tonight called "knives and other sharp objects"
it was written by a man named raul castillo. he used to live in austin, and the entire play is set in texas. and i loved it. it was awesome.
and i miss texas. but with everything right now. where i am, what i'm doing, who i'm with, where i live...it's like it could never have been any other way.
i'm glad i'm in ny. they sell gato negro here. i miss my girlfriends. and my boyfriends. but i am sitting at the kitchen table right now, and it feels really good to be home.
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