for the sake of protecting the identities of the innocent and the not-so-innocent i need to preface this entry by requesting that anybody who knows my archnemesis please do not make any comments that would possibly disclose her identity.
so, i get to work today and i'm talking to fleeter and she tells me that she ran into my archnemesis, stink-eye, yesterday, and stink-eye was really chatting her up. i asked if she was trying to pry all of my deep, dark secrets out of her.
fleetwood said "no. no, that's not what happened at all."
the following is fleetwood's version of the story:
Here's what happened. So I says to the girl.....do you speak Chinese in your home. She said no, I am half Vietnamese and no we only speak english in our home.
I said, "wow, you have the same heritage as Lisa, half vietnamese"
"who's Lisa?"
"You know Lisa, she's the girl I'm always hanging out with.. Long black hair, nose ring."
"No, I don't know her."
"Yes you do, you see her all the time."
"Does she have blue tips on the end of her hair?"
"No that's...., Lisa's hair is a lot longer."
"I don't know who she is."
right at that point another person entered the conversation and said to Stink Eye. "Yes. You do know who she is"
Stink Eye replied. "oh. her."
Not only does she not care about your deep dark secrets. She REFUSES to acknowledge your existence at all.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
dream-state
i had this dream last night that i was stranded on this small, floating island that would sometimes capsize. i had to hang on to the palm tree in the middle of it. with me on the island was a bear. there were moors up on the cliffs and silver. and boats...like dragon boat race boats going around us fast.
i never made out with the bear, but i feel like we were supposed to fall in love.
i wonder if this means that i'm supposed to fall in love with myself.
i'm a bear.
i never made out with the bear, but i feel like we were supposed to fall in love.
i wonder if this means that i'm supposed to fall in love with myself.
i'm a bear.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
white elephant
will the person that gave me the salt-statue-figurine of a baby seal with the eyeballs removed please identify themselves...i'm having a hard time figuring out where it came from...
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
brief interviews with hideous men
i was riding the bus to work this morning re-reading a book by david foster wallace entitled "girl with curious hair" when i suddenly was reminded of a time about 5 years ago riding the bus reading a different book by dfw..."brief interviews with hideous men."
so, i'm reading this book and i'm reading this one story about how the author is addressing his reader asking her what she thinks of the book and how invasive that is, when the reader prolly just wants to escape and not be thinking about much of anything and here the author is, in her face asking her questions...blah blah blah...
it's while i'm reading this story that i hear a voice from over my shoulder slowly read aloud "brief--interviews--with--hideous--men"
i turn around and sitting behind me, reading over my shoulder is a man that was sitting at the front of the bus when i boarded, but has since moved to the seat right behind me. which is just creepy on its own.
so i look at him and i say "you know, the only thing more annoying than someone reading over your shoulder is somebody reading out loud over your shoulder."
i don't think what i said registered....
he in response says "i like reading, but that book kind of gives me the creeps."
maybe because it's about you.
he moved back to the front of the bus.
so, i'm reading this book and i'm reading this one story about how the author is addressing his reader asking her what she thinks of the book and how invasive that is, when the reader prolly just wants to escape and not be thinking about much of anything and here the author is, in her face asking her questions...blah blah blah...
it's while i'm reading this story that i hear a voice from over my shoulder slowly read aloud "brief--interviews--with--hideous--men"
i turn around and sitting behind me, reading over my shoulder is a man that was sitting at the front of the bus when i boarded, but has since moved to the seat right behind me. which is just creepy on its own.
so i look at him and i say "you know, the only thing more annoying than someone reading over your shoulder is somebody reading out loud over your shoulder."
i don't think what i said registered....
he in response says "i like reading, but that book kind of gives me the creeps."
maybe because it's about you.
he moved back to the front of the bus.
Monday, June 26, 2006
shot gun
i shot-gunned a beer for the first time ever during the seventh inning stretch at kickball yesterday.
i came in second.
granted, there was only one other person in the game, but it was really really close.
another rite of passage i can check off the list.
i came in second.
granted, there was only one other person in the game, but it was really really close.
another rite of passage i can check off the list.
shot gun
i shot-gunned a beer for the first time ever during the seventh inning stretch at kickball yesterday.
i came in second.
granted, there was only one other person in the game, but it was really really close.
another rite of passage i can check off the list.
i came in second.
granted, there was only one other person in the game, but it was really really close.
another rite of passage i can check off the list.
let's talk about me
1. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?
ramen. except it's not in the fridge. i only have condiments in the fridge.
2. What is your guaranteed weeping movie?
lady jane. and mookie just reminded me of the color purple.
3. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
fuck that shit. i like looking like my parents mashed together.
4. What's one thing you like to do alone?
what do i not like to do alone? i enjoy my solitude.
5. Do you have a fear?
many. snakes, heights, reptiles and amphibians of all kinds, except for turtles.
6. What is the little physical habit that gives away you're insecure?
touching my face, maybe? crossing my arms.
7. Are you a pyromaniac?
if you love somebody...no.
8. Do you have too many love interests?
sometimes one is too many. but i think i've got it under control.
9. Do you know anyone famous?
jenn daly. she's in my top 8. i'm also friends with the mayor.
10. Describe your bed:
soul-mate.
11. Who would play you in a movie?
that girl from the dark crystal...i think her name is kira. she's a gelfling. she's also a puppet. or a muppet, i guess.
12. What do you carry with you at all times?
lip balm.
13. Are you happy with your given name?
i like my vietnamese name a lot. and i like my other name as a nickname, but otherwise i think it's kind of boring. but that's cool.
14. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
it would take at least a few thousand. i have a habit.
15. What color is your bedroom?
the same color as my closet. and kitchen. white.
16. What was the last song you were listening to?
it involved graham parsons.
17. Have you ever been in love?
yes.
18. Do you talk a lot?
it depends on how well i know someone. and how many drugs i'm on.
19. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
often.
20. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
usually. except if i'm being shamelessly hit on. then i'm a total bitch.
21. What is your ideal marriage location?
i currently can't think of "ideal" and "marriage" together.
22. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
cello. drums. guitar.
23. What smell do you find sexy?
the body odor of any of my friends. and curry.
24. How do you eat an apple?
i just bite into it.
25. What do you order at a bar?
lone star. except at my bar. there it's dxx in summer, and bass in winter. we don't have lone star.
26. Have you ever pierced your body parts?
i have allowed other people to pierce my body parts.
27. Do you have any tattoos?
yes.
28. Do you drive a stick?
no. i do ride a bicycle though.
29. What's one trait you hate in a person?
self-righteousness. and boastfulness.
30. What kind of watch do you wear?
no watch. no watch.
31. Do you consider yourself materialistic?
very. but i try to purge once a year to keep myself in check.
32. What do you cook the best?
tuna noodle casserole and grilled cheese. i'm into comfort food.
33. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
it depends. i don't want to blend in with a bunch of douche-bags or anything like that.
34. What's one car you will never buy?
i can't really picture myself owning a car ever again. but never an suv, sports car or monster truck.
35. What kind of books do you like to read?
fiction. contemporary fiction. i'm an escape artist.
36. Burial or cremation?
cremation. no contest.
37. What's one thing you're a loser at?
kickball. i suck at kickball.
38. Do you cry in front of your friends?
often.
39. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
that i'm cold and aloof. but really i'm just kind of socially awkward. also, i think a lot of people think i'm persian. or native american. or mexican.
40. Are you a giver or a taker?
a little column A, a little column B.
41. When's the last time someone made you cry?
i make myself cry almost daily. otherwise my father made me cry a couple of weeks ago. you can read all about it in the blog entry entitled: it's raining on prom night.
42. Favorite communication method?
mouth to mouth.
43. How many drinks before you're tipsy?
it depends on where i am in my cycle. truly.
43. First thing you did this morning?
snooze.
44. Last thing you ate?
chips ahoy cookie.
45. Is your cell phone a piece of crap?
not anymore. it's just a piece of plastic now.
46. What's something you look forward to most in the next 6 months?
going back to ny. i miss my family.
47. What's annoying you right now?
being at work.
48. What's the last movie you saw in a theater?
it wasn't really a movie...more like a montage of scott walker footage. before that...maybe the three burials of melquiadas estrada...or cache. i don't really remember.
49. Do you believe in long distance relationships? sometimes i think that i prefer them.
50. When was the last time it rained?
saturday morning.
51. Is there someone you miss?
many.
52. Who was the last person you texted?
teddy.
53. If you could kill someone who would you kill?
i can't really talk about this.
54. Song that sums up your love life?
eliza gilkyson's "not lonely." or is it "alone. not lonely"? i apparently don't really remember the title.
55. Are there a few things you wish you were better at?
kickball. and sidekicks, and round house kicks.
56. If you could be anywhere this second, where would it be? barton springs
57. What's your most vivid memory from 7th grade?
falling off the bleachers at the basketball game...and consequently breaking my wrist.
58. Latest addiction?
daily juice with chris comfort.
59. Have you ever had the urge to kill someone?
maim. not kill.
60. How many people would you say you are interested in?
i'm interested in a lot of people. interested how? this is very vague. if survey means interested-interested then...maybe one.
61. What do you love doing?
sleeping, kung fu, riding my bike, reading, bbc-ing, sitting in jenn daly's kitchen con mis amigas. watching kung fu movies.
62. Do you think someone thinks about you daily?
surely.
63. Who was the last person you saw or talked to?
dorothy.
64. What do you want to be when you grow up?
a bad-ass.
ramen. except it's not in the fridge. i only have condiments in the fridge.
2. What is your guaranteed weeping movie?
lady jane. and mookie just reminded me of the color purple.
3. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
fuck that shit. i like looking like my parents mashed together.
4. What's one thing you like to do alone?
what do i not like to do alone? i enjoy my solitude.
5. Do you have a fear?
many. snakes, heights, reptiles and amphibians of all kinds, except for turtles.
6. What is the little physical habit that gives away you're insecure?
touching my face, maybe? crossing my arms.
7. Are you a pyromaniac?
if you love somebody...no.
8. Do you have too many love interests?
sometimes one is too many. but i think i've got it under control.
9. Do you know anyone famous?
jenn daly. she's in my top 8. i'm also friends with the mayor.
10. Describe your bed:
soul-mate.
11. Who would play you in a movie?
that girl from the dark crystal...i think her name is kira. she's a gelfling. she's also a puppet. or a muppet, i guess.
12. What do you carry with you at all times?
lip balm.
13. Are you happy with your given name?
i like my vietnamese name a lot. and i like my other name as a nickname, but otherwise i think it's kind of boring. but that's cool.
14. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
it would take at least a few thousand. i have a habit.
15. What color is your bedroom?
the same color as my closet. and kitchen. white.
16. What was the last song you were listening to?
it involved graham parsons.
17. Have you ever been in love?
yes.
18. Do you talk a lot?
it depends on how well i know someone. and how many drugs i'm on.
19. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
often.
20. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
usually. except if i'm being shamelessly hit on. then i'm a total bitch.
21. What is your ideal marriage location?
i currently can't think of "ideal" and "marriage" together.
22. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
cello. drums. guitar.
23. What smell do you find sexy?
the body odor of any of my friends. and curry.
24. How do you eat an apple?
i just bite into it.
25. What do you order at a bar?
lone star. except at my bar. there it's dxx in summer, and bass in winter. we don't have lone star.
26. Have you ever pierced your body parts?
i have allowed other people to pierce my body parts.
27. Do you have any tattoos?
yes.
28. Do you drive a stick?
no. i do ride a bicycle though.
29. What's one trait you hate in a person?
self-righteousness. and boastfulness.
30. What kind of watch do you wear?
no watch. no watch.
31. Do you consider yourself materialistic?
very. but i try to purge once a year to keep myself in check.
32. What do you cook the best?
tuna noodle casserole and grilled cheese. i'm into comfort food.
33. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
it depends. i don't want to blend in with a bunch of douche-bags or anything like that.
34. What's one car you will never buy?
i can't really picture myself owning a car ever again. but never an suv, sports car or monster truck.
35. What kind of books do you like to read?
fiction. contemporary fiction. i'm an escape artist.
36. Burial or cremation?
cremation. no contest.
37. What's one thing you're a loser at?
kickball. i suck at kickball.
38. Do you cry in front of your friends?
often.
39. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
that i'm cold and aloof. but really i'm just kind of socially awkward. also, i think a lot of people think i'm persian. or native american. or mexican.
40. Are you a giver or a taker?
a little column A, a little column B.
41. When's the last time someone made you cry?
i make myself cry almost daily. otherwise my father made me cry a couple of weeks ago. you can read all about it in the blog entry entitled: it's raining on prom night.
42. Favorite communication method?
mouth to mouth.
43. How many drinks before you're tipsy?
it depends on where i am in my cycle. truly.
43. First thing you did this morning?
snooze.
44. Last thing you ate?
chips ahoy cookie.
45. Is your cell phone a piece of crap?
not anymore. it's just a piece of plastic now.
46. What's something you look forward to most in the next 6 months?
going back to ny. i miss my family.
47. What's annoying you right now?
being at work.
48. What's the last movie you saw in a theater?
it wasn't really a movie...more like a montage of scott walker footage. before that...maybe the three burials of melquiadas estrada...or cache. i don't really remember.
49. Do you believe in long distance relationships? sometimes i think that i prefer them.
50. When was the last time it rained?
saturday morning.
51. Is there someone you miss?
many.
52. Who was the last person you texted?
teddy.
53. If you could kill someone who would you kill?
i can't really talk about this.
54. Song that sums up your love life?
eliza gilkyson's "not lonely." or is it "alone. not lonely"? i apparently don't really remember the title.
55. Are there a few things you wish you were better at?
kickball. and sidekicks, and round house kicks.
56. If you could be anywhere this second, where would it be? barton springs
57. What's your most vivid memory from 7th grade?
falling off the bleachers at the basketball game...and consequently breaking my wrist.
58. Latest addiction?
daily juice with chris comfort.
59. Have you ever had the urge to kill someone?
maim. not kill.
60. How many people would you say you are interested in?
i'm interested in a lot of people. interested how? this is very vague. if survey means interested-interested then...maybe one.
61. What do you love doing?
sleeping, kung fu, riding my bike, reading, bbc-ing, sitting in jenn daly's kitchen con mis amigas. watching kung fu movies.
62. Do you think someone thinks about you daily?
surely.
63. Who was the last person you saw or talked to?
dorothy.
64. What do you want to be when you grow up?
a bad-ass.
Friday, June 23, 2006
he feels the fist.
we were talking about him, and she was like "he's a cool guy. he can come off as kind of creepy but if you hold him at arms length he's receptive. he feels it." "he feels the fist?" "yeah, he totally feels the fist." "that's cool."
i wish more guys felt the fist.
you know...in a figurative sense.
i wish more guys felt the fist.
you know...in a figurative sense.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
anxiety dreams
in the past couple of weeks i've been having a lot of nightmares and anxiety dreams. last night was really no exception, and i won't get into the details of the bad parts really...
there were lots of parts of this dream that sucked...two car crashes...involving people i knew, burn victims, grossness. but there was also a really awkward and beautiful part. for some reason dan and i had reconciled and i was at the dabbs motel out in llano with him and a group of mutual friends. and then we fought and we were stuck there and he went to bed and i was going to go sleep in another room but realized that there weren't any other rooms so i went in to move my stuff and he woke up and said i could sleep there. so i fell asleep next to him and dreamed that i was a super hero...ice girl. and my super power was that i could turn myself into ice..i don't know what that was going to do for me. and i was in love with super man. and it's winter in michigan. possibly detroit? and we are by the water. and we're arguing. and i realize that it's pointless to argue, that he is never going to see my way. and i jump into the water and i turn to ice. initially i sink to the bottom, but as i float back up to the surface, still beneath the water kind of, floating down the river, i realize that he has jumped in after me, and has his arm around me, and is swimming us down stream, trying to keep me above water so i can breathe. and i fall asleep in his arms in the water, and i have my arm around him, and i can feel the muscles in his back moving as he moves his arm for every stroke...and then i wake up kind of...in my dream, and i am in bed with my arm around dan, and still half asleep i think for a minute that i can feel the muscles in his back moving, like he's trying to save me.
not that i need saving. just that the feeling was nice.
the dream goes on. but that was the beautiful part.
and at one point i also tasted a really interesting cold cut. also in michigan.
there were lots of parts of this dream that sucked...two car crashes...involving people i knew, burn victims, grossness. but there was also a really awkward and beautiful part. for some reason dan and i had reconciled and i was at the dabbs motel out in llano with him and a group of mutual friends. and then we fought and we were stuck there and he went to bed and i was going to go sleep in another room but realized that there weren't any other rooms so i went in to move my stuff and he woke up and said i could sleep there. so i fell asleep next to him and dreamed that i was a super hero...ice girl. and my super power was that i could turn myself into ice..i don't know what that was going to do for me. and i was in love with super man. and it's winter in michigan. possibly detroit? and we are by the water. and we're arguing. and i realize that it's pointless to argue, that he is never going to see my way. and i jump into the water and i turn to ice. initially i sink to the bottom, but as i float back up to the surface, still beneath the water kind of, floating down the river, i realize that he has jumped in after me, and has his arm around me, and is swimming us down stream, trying to keep me above water so i can breathe. and i fall asleep in his arms in the water, and i have my arm around him, and i can feel the muscles in his back moving as he moves his arm for every stroke...and then i wake up kind of...in my dream, and i am in bed with my arm around dan, and still half asleep i think for a minute that i can feel the muscles in his back moving, like he's trying to save me.
not that i need saving. just that the feeling was nice.
the dream goes on. but that was the beautiful part.
and at one point i also tasted a really interesting cold cut. also in michigan.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Friday, June 9, 2006
the lone star diet
this is the exchange that took place between my girlfriend cassandra and me a couple of minutes ago:
cass: "you look very slender today"
lisa b: "i haven't really been eating. just drinking a lot"
cass: "oh, the vodka diet? well i guess in your case it would be the lonestar diet."
lisa b: "yeah. pretty much the lonestar diet."
cass: "or the happy meal diet...you know, lonestar and a shot of jaeger."
i know so many people on the happy meal diet. thank you cassandra for summing it up so perfectly.
cass: "you look very slender today"
lisa b: "i haven't really been eating. just drinking a lot"
cass: "oh, the vodka diet? well i guess in your case it would be the lonestar diet."
lisa b: "yeah. pretty much the lonestar diet."
cass: "or the happy meal diet...you know, lonestar and a shot of jaeger."
i know so many people on the happy meal diet. thank you cassandra for summing it up so perfectly.
let's talk about my hangover
it is suprisingly light-hearted and witty considering the copious amounts of alcohol i consumed last night.
copious.
copious.
Thursday, June 8, 2006
it's unbelievable
while brent struggled with his "international day after international slayer day" hang over i decided to clean my house and it's unlike anything anyone has ever seen before.
jenndaly, this would be such a good time for you to come visit.
fer real.
jenndaly, this would be such a good time for you to come visit.
fer real.
Thursday, June 1, 2006
it's a bird
i was just coming back from lunch with mario and it got real windy and my skirt blew up.
i wish there had been a lot of people around. i'm wearing supergirl underwear.
i wish there had been a lot of people around. i'm wearing supergirl underwear.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
